Familiar Feelings, New Meanings
by LileyKigoSpashleyRizzslesLover
Summary: What's the easiest way to get over the love of your life? Fall for your soul mate, of course! Continuation of S2E8. Jane/Maura. Oneshot.


A/N: Wow, that last scene was brutal – it broke my heart. Poor Maura! Hopefully I was able to fix things!

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Jane stood outside her best friend's door for a moment before knocking. When it opened she took note of the occupant's demeanor and decided to keep the greeting short. "Hi."

"Hi." She responded back.

Her heart broke seeing the state the other woman was in. "You okay?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

Maura couldn't speak; she could only shake her head from side to side as that familiar rush of emotion traveled up and overwhelmed her tear ducts – much like it had been doing for the past few hours. She motioned Jane inside before walking in herself, holding her hand up to her face.

Jane followed and closed the door behind her, silently cursing Ian for the state he had put her dearest friend in. "Where's Ian?" She asked when she didn't see the culprit anywhere.

Maura sighed one of those sighs that really emphasized the state she was in. "He's gone." She replied, sitting down on a wooden bar stool at her kitchen island. "I harbored a fugitive so go ahead and arrest me." She pulled a well worn tissue out of her lab coat pocket.

"I'm sorry." Was all Jane could say.

"Because you won't be able to arrest him?" She asked, finishing the sentence she thought was in the detective's head.

Jane didn't comment on that. Instead she assessed her best friend's condition and yanked a tissue free from a nearby box. "Man, you got it bad."

Maura accepted the offered paper cloth and brought it up to her face before sobbing into it.

The taller woman could only watch, eyes filled with sorrow.

"You know, when people talk about the loves of their lives. That's Ian."

"You never ever mentioned him." She tried to reason, hoping that what she was hearing wasn't true.

"Cause I tried to forget him." She said and then breathed out a heavy, emotion-filled sigh.

"I'm sorry, Maura. I shouldn't have done what I did. It's… it's none of my business."

"I just… I can't," she started, shifting in her chair. "I can't talk about him." Her eyes started to fill with the salty liquid again. "I can't… with anybody because it makes me so sad. I mean how can you –" She continued, voice starting to break under the emotional stress. "How can you love someone and not be able to be with them?"

Jane knew that feeling too well. Though the person causing that wasn't thousands of miles away. "And why can't you be with him?" She asked, trying to use her 'good best friend' reasoning instead of her 'insanely jealous' reasoning.

"Cause he went back to Africa."

"You could go to Africa." She offered, praying the other woman wouldn't.

"His crime was risking his life to bring drugs and basic supplies to places that nobody cares about. And I helped him so go ahead and arrest me."

Jane laughed lightly and, in doing so, turned her head to the side. Her eye caught something as she was just about to face the other woman once again. Her face took on the definition of a "what-the-fuck" look. "The first person I'm gonna to arrest is my mother. What – Really? Highball glasses? When's the last time you had a highball? Come on!"

Maura couldn't help but smile. "She rearranged my closet too."

"No… not the closet." The sincerity was gone and in its place was the oh-so-familiar Rizzoli sarcasm.

The M.E. didn't register that however and looked up at Jane like a lost puppy. "She threw away my shoe boxes."

"Oh now that is a crime. Sorry."

Still sniffling, Maura let out a laugh. The first one in awhile.

"You want me to take you to the airport?" Jane asked. Her head immediately filled with famous movie scenes involving the very thing and was hoping she wouldn't have to reenact any of them.

Maura sighed and leaned her head against her fist containing another tear soaked tissue. She seemed to consider the idea for a moment. "No. No."

She tried something else. "You want me to sit with you till you feel better?"

"Yeah." She whispered out. A beat later she looked up with a completely serious look. "But first could you arrest your mother?"

"Okay." Jane readily agreed.

They both laughed and went in for a hug. Maura stood up while Jane walked closer. Their arms wrapped around the other easily, and, as if two pieces of a puzzle, their bodies interlocked perfectly.

Jane rubbed the other woman's back and tried to come up with comforting words but was failing."It'll be okay."

They stayed there for a few minutes, savoring the comforting touch. Though the room was silent, each head was filled with racing thoughts.

All Jane could think about was the feeling of the woman she was so desperately in love with pressed so tightly against her. It was driving her crazy and, in any normal circumstance, she would have pulled away ages ago. Even though she was hurting herself, she kept with it, knowing that this was what Maura needed.

Maura's mind was conflicted, and immensely so. Here she was, crying over someone that just left her – supposedly the love of her life – and she felt stirrings in her heart, stomach and… lower areas. She had felt these with Jane before, of course, but never really thought about it. After all, she had never had a best friend before so she assumed this was normal. But having Ian in her life for a few short days reminded her what that feeling _really _meant and she was scared. She didn't know if she could go through something like this again.

Slowly and awkwardly, they pulled away from the embrace.

Jane cleared her throat and pointed to the kitchen. "You want some wine? Should I run out and get you some Lucky Charms?"

Maura shook her head violently. "No. I don't eat those anymore."

Her head literally reeled back in shock. "You don't? But – but they're your favorite! Did you finally see how much sugar was in it?"

"I was already well aware of that… I just… I heard somewhere that they were made from deceased leprechauns so I don't want to eat them anymore until I can do the proper testing."

The detective was failing miserably at hiding her look of utter amusement. "And how exactly do you test for something like that? Stick them under a rainbow and see if they turn to gold?"

"Jane." Maura shot her a look telling her now was not the time.

"Sorry." She said sincerely. "Go sit down and I'll bring you some wine."

The shorter woman nodded and went over to plop down on her white couch before taking one of her green pillows and pulling it up to her chest.

After trying to reacquaint herself with the kitchen she knew so well before, Jane walked over and had to stop at what she saw."Wow… he really _did_ do a number on you. You look like Frankie did after Lacey Stevens dumped him in middle school." She wanted to laugh at the memory but knew that now was definitely not the best time for that. Instead, she handed the other woman her wine and sat down.

Maura placed hers on the table. She had a pensive look on her face for a few seconds before she spoke. "What if – what if I'm not good enough for him?"

She was thankful she had just swallowed her wine because she would have to spit it out in shock. "Seriously? Maura, you are a beautiful, smart, caring woman that _anyone _would be absolutely blessed to have. Ian's just an idiot that can't see that."

"You really think so?" Maura sniffled and looked up at her best friend.

"I know so." She said, finally able to tell the other woman part of what she felt about her. It had been difficult harboring such a deep love for her, especially these past few days, and she was worried she might not be able to keep it to herself for much longer.

Maura, overcome by something she couldn't control, moved forward quickly and captured Jane's lips with her own. She pulled back quickly and hid her face in the pillow.

After a few minutes of stunned silence, Jane spoke up. "Maura… what was that?"

"I'm sorry… I just needed to check something."

"If you wanted to know my lip gloss flavor you could've just asked." She joked.

She peered out from behind the cushion and gazed at Jane in wonder. "You're not… mad?"

"Hey, if I had a nickel for every time my best friend randomly kissed me I'd have…" She pretended to think, even counting on her hands for effect. "A nickel."

"I'm sorry." She tried again, hoping to get a more sensible excuse out. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's fine, Maura." She said, putting her hand on said woman's shoulder and looking deep into hazel eyes. "I understand. You just want to forget about him – that's what rebounding is for. Just… I might not be your best option."

She nodded. "You're right."

"I – uh…" Jane started, standing up. "I need to use the bathroom. Excuse me for a second."

"Kay." She let out meekly.

Jane all but dashed into the nearest bathroom, though not for the reasons one might normally do so. "Oh my god!" She whispered as soon as the door was shut behind her. "She _kissed _me!" Her breathing started to quicken as that fact sunk in. "What am I gonna do?" She winced, not seeing a way out of this. "And I _definitely _don't want to be her rebound… I can't keep this from her anymore though, not after _that_." She let out a huge sigh. "God, what am I gonna do?"

Outside, Maura was having a similar episode.

"What was I thinking?" She berated herself. "Yeah, kiss her! That'll solve all your problems!" She said in a tone set to mock whatever part of her thought that was a good idea. She sighed and placed her head in her hands. "Or just create more."

"Pull yourself together." Jane spluttered through the water she just splashed on her face. "This is just Maura. You can do this!" She looked at her damp reflection and sighed. "Oh, who am I kidding? She hadn't been 'just Maura' in a _long _time."

Figuring she had been in there long enough, she wiped the water off her face and left the room. She didn't say anything to the woman sitting on the couch, muttering to herself. She cleared her throat to let her presence known and approached.

"Should I… stay?" She asked, standing behind the couch.

"Yes, of course!" She jumped up, turned around, and immediately winced at the desperate tone her voice had taken on. "I mean… if you want to."

Jane smiled and echoed the statement. "Of course." She went around to the front of the couch and took a seat.

The two sat in a very uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, as neither of them knew what to say. Eventually, Maura spoke up.

"Can I – can I have another hug?" She asked timidly, not sure if that's something that was allowed given what had happened a few minutes ago.

"Of course, sweetie." She said, leaning over to give the requested affection. She wrapped her arms around her tightly, as if wanting to protect her from any and all harm, and savored what could possibly be their last embrace.

When they pulled away, Jane took a moment to steel herself – going so far as to close her eyes and not caring what the other woman thought of the odd action. "Maura, I need to tell you something."

"Me too."

Jane looked confused, thinking Maura's confessions would be done for awhile. "You go ahead."

"No, you."

"Trust me… you'll want to go first."

"Fine… it might take awhile though."

"Go for it. Mine can wait."

"Alright…" She paused, getting her thoughts in order. "I, uh… had more reasons than what I told you for not telling you about Ian."

"Okay…" She said, not sure where she was going with this.

"I _did _find it hard to talk about him but… when I'm with – " She stopped deciding on a different route. "Lately I've a hard time even remembering him."

Jane couldn't help but smile at that in hopes that Maura was well on her way to getting over him. "Really?"

"I know it sounds weird… here I am crying over him… but all that stuff just came rushing back, you know?"

"Yeah."

"I mean… I still love him – I do. But… I – I love someone else more."

The taller woman shot her an incredulous look. "Is that even possible? You seemed absolutely crazy about him!"

"Well… they do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but research has proven that proximity has a huge role in who you fall in love with."

"Okay, I give up. Who is this mystery guy?" She asked. A large part of her brain was screaming at her to not ask but she had to know what she was up against, even if she knew, by the way she was talking about the guy, that she didn't stand a chance.

She shook her head and seemingly changed the subject. "I want to apologize."

It took Jane a moment to switch gears. "For?"

"For not coming to you sooner about him. I know that I can come to you about these sort of things – that's what best friends are for, after all. So… if you forgive me about that there _is _something else I wish to discuss."

Jane sensed the overt nervousness in her voice. "Yeah, sure. What is it?"

"Well… it's love life related."

"Okay… what else about Ian? You're don't really want to run off to Africa with him, do you?" She asked, fearful of losing her best friend.

She shook her head. "No, it's definitely not about him… you see, the last time I saw him I hadn't even met you… things have changed since then."

"Like what?"

"I… I want something more. And I've actually found it with someone else. The someone else I was referring to earlier."

"You're gonna have to be a bit clearer here, Maura."

"I feel more intensely towards someone now than I've ever felt towards anyone."

"Okay? What's the problem with that? Tell him how you feel! Who is it, anyway?"

"Well… it's actually _more _complicated than my relationship with Ian."

"Spit it out already!" She said forcefully, though not angrily. She was just tired of the torture and wanted to know who she was talking about.

Just as Maura opened her mouth to speak the door opened.

"Hello, girls. I hope I'm not interrupting."

Jane's eye started to twitch as her left hand unconsciously balled into a fist. "What do you want, Ma?"

"I just wanted to see how things were going." She said innocently. "Oh! Jane… do you notice anything different about the kitchen?"

"You mean those ugly labels on the cabinets?"

The older Rizzoli gasped and placed a hand on her chest. "Ugly? I thought I taught you better, young lady!"

"I thought you knew better, Ma. I mean, come on, white? It doesn't even complement the wood tone... or the frosted glass." She said sarcastically, earning a much needed chuckle from the woman beside her.

It also earned a glare from her mother.

"Am I gonna have to ground you? Huh? Should I forbid you and Maura from playing together?"

Jane snorted at that. "Really, Ma?"

She stood firm, even though her bluff was clearly seen through. "Don't think I won't try!"

The detective rolled her eyes and stood. "I think I should go."

"No!" Maura shouted, causing both women to stop what they were doing and look at her. "I mean… you don't have to. I, uh… we can continue this talk elsewhere. Or just ban your mother from my house."

"She lives here. Or did you forget that?"

"Well… according to article three, paragraph nine of our roommate agreement…"

"You made a roommate agreement?" Jane asked mostly to herself, though she wasn't in the least bit surprised.

Maura continued anyway. "If one party has a guest over and would like privacy, the other party must vacate the other's living quarters for the night."

"Maura!" Angela protested. "That's not fair! That's only supposed to be for romantic possibilities, not because you want to talk to my daughter behind my back."

"I never said there wasn't a possibility for romance."

Once again, both women looked at her. This time each wore a different expression. Angela was slightly shocked yet still happy, while Jane was simply dumbfounded and worried. She wished Maura wouldn't keep saying stuff like this. It was making things _way _harder than they had to be.

"What?" Angela spoke first, though the word was on Jane's tongue as well.

"Just… please?"

After trying for a moment to refute she couldn't help but concede. "Fine… but I'm not happy about this!" She grumbled, going back through the door she came in from.

"Jane – "

"Wait! Before you start… we should go into another room."

Maura gave her a questioning look.

"I know my mother. She's not done meddling… and she knows how to read lips."

"Okay… where do you suggest we go?"

Jane shrugged. "Your room?"

The M.E. just nodded and got up, leading the way.

Seconds later, Jane took a seat on the bed. She eyed Maura curiously as she paced the length of the room. "Maura? Everything okay?"

"Yeah! I was just…" She sat down next to her. "Why don't you go?"

"Uh… you were doing so well!"

"Please?" She asked, bottom lip slowly making its way out.

"Fine, fine!" She said loudly. "I – what I wanted to say was that I'm sorry. I was harsher on Ian than I should have been."

"I'm sensing a reason behind this."

"Well… I didn't even think you could _be _like that with anyone! But now that I saw how you were with him… I got jealous, okay?"

"Jealous? Of Ian?"

She nodded, still too insecure about this to voice it out loud.

"I'll always be your best friend, Jane. Nobody can change that."

The detective sighed. "But I _want _that to change."

"What do you – "

"I wanted to be what he is to you."

"But you are, Jane. Moreso." She said, grinning.

"Wait… weren't you _just _telling me that Ian was the 'love of your life'?"

"Yes, but … I think you're my soul mate. There's a difference."

"So I'll never be the love of your life?" The news should have made her ecstatic but she couldn't help but feel

Maura smiled. "I am willing to bet that, in a few months time, that distinction will move onto you."

"Bet? You never bet."

"Unless I know I'll win."

Jane couldn't help the smile from breaking out across her face. She also couldn't help her body from moving closer, decreasing the space between their bodies, until their lips met for a slow yet passionate kiss filled with meaning.

When they pulled away a few minutes later Maura's face had a look of pure pleasure on it. "On second thought, make that a few weeks."

"What do I have to do to change that to days?" Jane asked flirtatiously, skimming her fingers along an exposed collar bone and pushing away the lab coat in the process.

Heat flushed across her face. "Play your cards right and it might only be a few hours." She winked.


End file.
